I recently had a series of unexpected events converge which gave me an excellent opportunity to practice letting go. It was one of those perfect storm scenarios, the kind that leave you feeling like the ground has given way beneath you. I noticed the rising and emerging tendency to blame, criticize and feel angry at the “guilty party”. I spent a good half day in this uncomfortable mental state…and then I had a moment of clarity. These circumstances were pushing me, in fact challenging me to grow in areas that were still sticky spots of resistance. As Carl Sandburg said, “Life is like an onion; you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.”
By grace and remembrance of this truth I emerged from my forgetfulness and despair. I allowed myself to feel sad, frustrated, scared and angry. I just let it wash over me and let go of my resistance to really feeling the full depth of my own emotions. While I allowed this to happen, I let go of the idea that someone or something was to blame for my condition. Basically, opting out of the whole ego game we play of holding people, places and circumstances responsible as the genesis of our painful current experience. What I realized, was that these people, places or events really represent change agents in our lives. The instrument of our becoming and evolving often arrives as an unwanted guest.
Arriving in the wrappings of disruption, change or adversity, we typically feel like it’s not fair, right or just that we are enduring such circumstances. This line of logic is directly linked to why the next step is to place blame and find the guilty party responsible for our misery. When we bring correction to our faulty logic by letting truth lead the way, our ability to sail the rough seas of life improves exponentially. As a side note, this does not mean we don’t hold people accountable for their actions. The difference is that the energy behind the action we take to address the issue will be completely different.
The truth is, life involves adversity and challenge for all of us. It’s just part of the deal here on planet Earth. These agents of change are supposed to knock us off course, shake up our world and push us outside our comfort zone. It is in fact their very purpose and goal. Our fighting, resisting, or denying won’t stop or change disruption from occurring, it is coming regardless of our desire for it. The only difference is how much we suffer internally by feeling it is wrong and blaming the world for our woes. It is the equivalent to blaming the messenger. In this case the messenger is bringing us a very important gift, the gift our own becoming.